120 Best Funny Halloween Jokes 2023

Enjoy 100+ Best Funny Halloween Jokes 2023: Indulge in some laughter with these humorous Halloween jokes, spanning from silly quips suitable for children to the top-notch dad jokes of the season. Give these jokes a try for a good chuckle about ghosts, skeletons, vampires, and more.

Halloween is just around the corner (can you believe it?), and one of the most enjoyable ways to prepare for the festivities and immerse yourself in the holiday spirit is by sharing lighthearted Halloween jokes with your family and friends!

From humorous quips that are wonderfully eerie to jokes tailored for children, which can add extra excitement to the days leading up to October 31, this collection of 100 amusing Halloween jokes features all your favorite thematic elements, including witches, skeletons, ghosts, and werewolves.

Whether you appreciate cheesy jokes like the one about vampires not being fans of Taylor Swift’s “Bad Blood” or prefer wordplay and pun-filled humor in kids’ jokes, these uproarious Halloween jokes are sure to elicit hearty laughter from you and anyone you choose to share them with!

100+ Best Funny Halloween Jokes 2023

Why don’t mummies take vacations? They’re afraid they’ll relax and unwind!
What do you get when you cross a vampire with a snowman? Frostbite!
How do you fix a broken pumpkin? With a pumpkin patch!
Why did the ghost get kicked out of the haunted house? He didn’t have the spirit for it!
What do you call a monster that’s always grumpy? A grouch-illa!
Why did the witch go to school? To improve her “spelling”!
What’s a vampire’s favorite fruit? A blood orange!
What do you call a zombie who tells jokes? A pun-dead!
Why did the zombie go to school? To improve his “dead”ucation!
What’s a skeleton’s least favorite room in the house? The living room!
What do you call a werewolf with no bite? A “fur”ball!
Why did the scarecrow become a successful politician? Because he was outstanding in his field!
What’s a witch’s favorite subject in school? Spelling!
Why did Dracula become a vegetarian? He couldn’t stand the sight of a steak!
What’s a monster’s favorite play? Romeo and Ghouliet!
How do you make a witch scratch her nose? Take away her broom!
Why did the skeleton go to the party alone? He had no body to go with him!
How do you make a skeleton laugh? Tickled his funny bone!
What kind of candy do vampires like the most? Suckers!
Why did the monster apply for a job at the bakery? He heard they kneaded a mummy!
What’s a mummy’s favorite type of music? Wrap music!
How do you fix a vampire’s flat tire? With a blood pump!
What’s a witch’s favorite makeup? Mas-scare-a!
What do you get if you cross a vampire and a snowman? Frostbite!
What do you call a haunted chicken? A poultry-geist!
Why did the headless horseman get a job as a traffic cop? He was great at directing traffic!
What do you call a ghost’s mom and dad? Transparent!
Why do ghosts like to ride in elevators? Because it raises their spirits!
What did the zombie serve at his Halloween party? Finger food!
How do you know when a ghost is mad? It gets “sheet”-faced!
Why did the ghost go to the doctor? It wasn’t feeling “boo”-tiful!
What’s a vampire’s favorite fruit? A necktarine!
What do you call a skeleton who won’t do any work? Lazy bones!
How do you make a skeleton laugh? Tickle his funny bone!
Why was the math book sad on Halloween? Because it had too many problems!
What do you get when you drop a pumpkin? Squash!
What did one pumpkin say to the other pumpkin? “Stop gourd-ing yourself!”
What’s a vampire’s favorite holiday? Fangsgiving!
Why do witches fly on broomsticks? Because vacuum cleaners are too heavy!
How does a ghost say goodbye to a vampire? “See you in the next afterlife!”
Why did the skeleton go to the party alone? Because he had no body to go with him!
What do you get when you cross a black cat with a lemon? A sour-puss!
What do you call a monster that loves to dance? The boogieman!
Why do mummies take vacations in the summer? Because they’re afraid of the wrap!
How does a witch tell time? With a witch watch!
What do you call a group of musical whales? An orca-stra!
Why was the zombie always the last to arrive at the party? He had no body to get ready!
What did one ghost say to the other ghost? “Do you believe in people?”
What do you call a vampire that’s always on the Internet? A “fang”tastic hacker!
Why don’t skeletons fight each other? They don’t have the guts!
What’s a vampire’s favorite type of boat? A blood vessel!
What’s a ghost’s favorite game? Hide and shriek!
Why did the mummy become a detective? Because he was good at “unwrapping” mysteries!
What do you call a werewolf who’s always happy? A “were-wolf!”
Why did the pumpkin go to the doctor? It was feeling a little “seedy”!
What kind of candy do zombies like the most? “Life” savers!
Why did the witch bring a ladder to the bar? Because she heard the drinks were on the house!
What’s a vampire’s favorite mode of transportation? A blood vessel!
Why did the zombie apply for a job? He wanted to “dead”-icate himself to a career!
What did the vampire say to the teacher? “See you next bite!”
What do you call a haunted baseball team? The ghost runners!
What do you call a zombie who loves candy? A “sugar skull”!
What do you call a vampire that’s good at math? Count Dracula!
How do you make a witch itch? Take away the “w”!
What do you get when you cross a ghost with a snowman? Frostbite!
Why did the mummy go to therapy? He had too many “unresolved” issues!
What did the pumpkin say to the butternut squash? “You’re gourd-geous!”
How do you mend a broken Jack-o’-lantern? With a pumpkin patch!
Why did the zombie go to school? To improve his “dead”-ucation!
Why did the ghost go to the party? Because he heard it was going to be a “boo”-last!
What do you call a mummy’s favorite type of music? Wrap music!
What did one witch say to the other witch? “You’re wickedly good at this!”
What kind of monster loves to disco dance? The boogieman!
What do you call a vampire who’s always cleaning? Count Spatula!
How do you mend a broken Jack-o’-lantern? With a pumpkin patch!
Why do mummies make great secret agents? Because they’re good at keeping things under wraps!
What do you call a skeleton who won’t work? Lazy bones!
Why don’t vampires like to go out in the rain? Because it washes off their bat-ter!
How do you make a witch scratch her nose? Take away her broom!
What do you get when you cross a black cat with a lemon? A sourpuss!
Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field!
What’s a ghost’s favorite dessert? Boo-berry pie!
What kind of key does a ghost use to unlock a door? A spook-key!
What do you call a witch at the beach? A sand-witch!
How do monsters tell their future? They read their horrorscope!
What do you call a dancing ghost? Polka-haunt-us.
Why do ghosts hate when it rains on Halloween?It dampens their spirits.
Why do ghosts like to hang out at bars? Because all of the Boos.
What’s it called when a vampire has trouble with his house? A grave problem.
Why can’t the boy ghost have babies? Because he has a Hallo-weenie.
What do female ghosts use to do their makeup? Vanishing Cream!
What do ghosts wear when their eyesight gets blurred? Spooktacles.
What can you catch from a vampire in winter? Frostbite.
Why didn’t the skeleton go to the Halloween party? Because he had no body to go with!
What do you get when you cross a vampire and a snowman? Frostbite!
What kind of music do mummies listen to? Wrap music!
What do you call a witch at the beach? A sand-witch!
What do ghosts serve for dessert? I-scream!
What do you call a ghost with a broken leg? Hob-boo-boo!
What do you get if you cross a black cat with a lemon? Sour-puss!
What room do ghosts avoid at the hotel? The “living” room!
What do you call a monster with no neck? The “headless” horseman!

Remember, the key to a good Halloween joke is the element of surprise and a little bit of spookiness! Enjoy your Halloween and share these jokes with your friends and family for some spooky fun!